Invisible

Feeling not right.
There’s a huge nimbus on top.
Wondering why.
Is it really good when one belongs to a group?
Is association important?
Maybe.
But then,
ain’t it meaningless if one has to indicate
or “remind” the others when one is feeling not right?
I do feel that I’m
needed,
associated,
and cared by my peers,
aeon ago when I was in secondary.
I know I’m narcissistic
and sarcastic sometimes.
Or maybe I’ve done not well enough.
Voice up if really something gets wrong.
Need sometime.
I’m not Saint.
And nor anyone of you.

It’s the very second time
I felt marooned in my college life.
And I kept self-“amending”.
Bit by bit.
Or maybe this signifies that
I should‘ve to go for “self-revamping”
rather then recurring amendments.
Like the Acts and Statutes?
I’m not regulations governing the others.
I need someone to challenge me. Oppose me.
And it makes me learn from mistakes.
Learn to compromise.
Hate quiet disagrees.

Maybe I’m not brave enough.
Else I can be a heterodox happily.



I always see MK walking alone.
Is she lonely?

Just wanna say.
Walking alone is not the worst thing.
The worst is when you walk en masse,
yet you still feel alone.

Shall I be saturnine,
again?
A saturnine me is a de-pressed me,
Not me.

I’ve had my first paradigm shift in my life
when I was in 15.
It changed me a lot.
Perhaps,
I shall have my second’s now…

Seriously,
I’m not nostalgically-flavoured.
And don’t come and ask me
why am I saying all these nonsense.

I just wanna vomit out.
Don’t make me feel like I’m begging for caring and sympathises.